10 things to live by when you're a toddler..

10 things to live by when you’re a toddler…

 1)    Make sure you always make things more difficult for your parents, kick up a fuss about your shirt, the way they’re tying up your shoelaces or the food they’ve put in front of you to eat. 

2)   While we’re on the subject of eating, NEVER eat anything more than 2 days in a row, make your parents think you love a certain type of food, eat it fast! Make sure you even finish the whole plate then tell them you don’t like it anymore and refuse to never ever eat it again.

 3)   Don’t act like you are a well behaved child, make sure you say no to everything and don’t be afraid to chuck yourself on the floor in the supermarket or even try asking for a toy car over and over until you get the car because trust me you’ll get the car with enough crying involved.

 4)    Hold your bladder until the most inconvenient time, then half way through grocery shopping tell your parents you need to go to the toilet, make it a sudden request that needs attending to immediately. Your parents MUST drop everything, once you’ve arrived in the toilet pretend to go because you didn’t really need to wee at all you just got sick of grocery shopping. Any excuse is a good excuse when your two years old.

 5)   If your asked to do something make sure you repeat what you were asked in a sarcastic voice until they laugh, they’ll soon forget what they were asking you because now your being funny. 

6)   Always choose your own clothing and if you aren’t allowed to wear gumboots in the bath make sure they know your upset about it with another tantrum, after about 10 minutes they wear down and you get away with it and if you don’t then make sure your next tantrum is worse than the last one. 

7) Nothing like a public place to shout out that you need to use your bowels, that mummy has a big bottom, do a big burp or even for giggles put your hands down your pants and shout out im touching my doodle. It’s a real crowd pleaser! Except for my parents because they’re the fun police.

 8)  So you love a certain tv show or movie? How about you watch that bad boy over and over, demand that you have to watch it and if the answer is no you know what to do, that’s right! Another tantrum! 

9)  If your parents need a break and put you down for a nap NEVER sleep more than an hour, if they seem in a rush to go somewhere that’s when you nap hard 2-3 hours should do the trick! 

10)  So your parents are ignoring you, they’ve had enough of the tantrums and they’ve stop listening to you. This is when you yell out very loud, why are you not talking to me?!? What are your ears for?!? This is the best way to get a reaction so they know your still here, still having a solid tantrum.