Thankful

I'm currently sitting on the couch waiting for Xavier to be dropped home and squeezing in all the grey's anatomy I can fit in before I'm having to watch cartoons again.

I will admit I still find it hard to share Xavier, I don't have him all the time so a day or two a week I get a few 'child free' days that most other parents don't have. Whilst this seems lovely to have a few hours to myself it can usually also feel like a burden. If I've done all the housework or caught up on all my study then I sit down and realize how quiet the house is; this can sometimes feel overwhelmingly lonely because I'm so used to having little voices around me asking for my help.

But I also think about how fantastic it is that Xavier has such a big family now. It's no longer just two sides of family anymore it's now four and that doesn't even count the friends we have. He has so many people to help him grow into the best person he could possibly be and that takes away from the fact that at times; I miss him. They say it takes a village to raise a child and I never fully understood that concept until I was in the situation myself. It was hard watching another female around my son that I didn't know anything about but once I got used to the idea I knew Xavier had made a new friend and she could be there for Xavier at the times I couldn't be. William (my partner) brought a friend and step- brother for Xavier into this family and I LOVE watching them play and learn from one another. So whilst I'm sitting here excitedly waiting for Xavier's return; I also know how lucky I am to have so many people who help out with Xavier. Thank-you to everyone that has helped me this week so that I could get to work placement, to school, to an event and so that Will and I could have dinner outside of the house. Thank-you also to everyone that has also offered their help along the way. I know I wouldn't have pictured to have split families for my children when I was mapping out how I'd like my future but I wouldn't want my life any different now because I am happy and so is Xavier. Xavier's happiness and stability will always be my priority.