10 things to live by when you’re a toddler…
1)
Make sure you always make things more difficult
for your parents, kick up a fuss about your shirt, the way they’re tying up
your shoelaces or the food they’ve put in front of you to eat.
2)
While we’re on the subject of eating, NEVER eat
anything more than 2 days in a row, make your parents think you love a certain
type of food, eat it fast! Make sure you even finish the whole plate then tell
them you don’t like it anymore and refuse to never ever eat it again.
3)
Don’t act like you are a well behaved child,
make sure you say no to everything and don’t be afraid to chuck yourself on the
floor in the supermarket or even try asking for a toy car over and over until
you get the car because trust me you’ll get the car with enough crying
involved.
4)
Hold your bladder until the most inconvenient time,
then half way through grocery shopping tell your parents you need to go to the
toilet, make it a sudden request that needs attending to immediately. Your
parents MUST drop everything, once you’ve arrived in the toilet pretend to go
because you didn’t really need to wee at all you just got sick of grocery
shopping. Any excuse is a good excuse when your two years old.
5)
If your asked to do something make sure you
repeat what you were asked in a sarcastic voice until they laugh, they’ll soon
forget what they were asking you because now your being funny.
6) Always choose your own clothing and if you aren’t
allowed to wear gumboots in the bath make sure they know your upset about it
with another tantrum, after about 10 minutes they wear down and you get away
with it and if you don’t then make sure your next tantrum is worse than the
last one.
7) Nothing like a public place to shout out that
you need to use your bowels, that mummy has a big bottom, do a big burp or even
for giggles put your hands down your pants and shout out im touching my doodle.
It’s a real crowd pleaser! Except for my parents because they’re the fun
police.
8) So you love a certain tv show or movie? How
about you watch that bad boy over and over, demand that you have to watch it
and if the answer is no you know what to do, that’s right! Another tantrum!
9)
If your parents need a break and put you down
for a nap NEVER sleep more than an hour, if they seem in a rush to go somewhere
that’s when you nap hard 2-3 hours should do the trick!