Thankful

I'm currently sitting on the couch waiting for Xavier to be dropped home and squeezing in all the grey's anatomy I can fit in before I'm having to watch cartoons again.

I will admit I still find it hard to share Xavier, I don't have him all the time so a day or two a week I get a few 'child free' days that most other parents don't have. Whilst this seems lovely to have a few hours to myself it can usually also feel like a burden. If I've done all the housework or caught up on all my study then I sit down and realize how quiet the house is; this can sometimes feel overwhelmingly lonely because I'm so used to having little voices around me asking for my help.

But I also think about how fantastic it is that Xavier has such a big family now. It's no longer just two sides of family anymore it's now four and that doesn't even count the friends we have. He has so many people to help him grow into the best person he could possibly be and that takes away from the fact that at times; I miss him. They say it takes a village to raise a child and I never fully understood that concept until I was in the situation myself. It was hard watching another female around my son that I didn't know anything about but once I got used to the idea I knew Xavier had made a new friend and she could be there for Xavier at the times I couldn't be. William (my partner) brought a friend and step- brother for Xavier into this family and I LOVE watching them play and learn from one another. So whilst I'm sitting here excitedly waiting for Xavier's return; I also know how lucky I am to have so many people who help out with Xavier. Thank-you to everyone that has helped me this week so that I could get to work placement, to school, to an event and so that Will and I could have dinner outside of the house. Thank-you also to everyone that has also offered their help along the way. I know I wouldn't have pictured to have split families for my children when I was mapping out how I'd like my future but I wouldn't want my life any different now because I am happy and so is Xavier. Xavier's happiness and stability will always be my priority.

Fighting Endo with diet

I'm a serious researcher when it comes to something I'm really passionate about or something I feel I could improve on in my life. Endometriosis is one of these categories alongside; how do I get my toddler to inhale his puffer and how to disguise veggies in healthy meals.
I've been doing some serious reading over the last few weeks on ways to improve my pain symptoms with my endo before my operation that should be happening within the next couple of months (wooohooo for me!!!). About 90% of people I have read about have used a 'diet' method, which has nothing to do with losing weight. Most women have said that once they changed their health and lifestyle their PMS and endo symptoms halved!! Yes really, that's the absolute dream!!

As I read about how CRAZY this diet was, it seemed overwhelming and I basically was scared at the thought of cutting out so many foods I enjoyed. The 'run down' of this diet is basically;

- No dairy
- No caffeine
- No gluten
- No red meat
- Avoid chicken
- No alcohol
- No artificial or refined sugars

SAY WHAAAT! I love my sugar, I love my carbs and I love my caffeine.
Am I really embarking on a impossible task? Am I really giving up things I REALLY enjoy?
Answer plain and simple. Sorta yes... I'm going about 90% vegan aside from small cheat meals. Here's a little dish from today; Tandoori Cous Cous salad with Rocket and Chickpeas.

Here's why I'm going to endeavour on this crazy mission.
The results really (they say) speak for themselves. A lot of these women have said they hardly even feel a thing around PMS time. Surely this is joke you say? I hope not! But nevertheless I'm going to try (try being the operative word here) to make this change slowly and accompany it with hot yoga and light walking which I have already started. I may be crazy BUT crazy is what crazy does (I have kids surely I've hit crazy already?) and I'll let you know if I start pulling my hair out or succeed and feel like a million dollars! Let me know if you have endometriosis and have also gone on the vegan style diet. Did it help or did you notice a difference?

Threenager came early

What's the best form of contraception? A three old...

Just joking!! But seriously nobody ever warns you that your offspring can one day turn into little devil children.

I thought two years old was supposed to be the bad one? Noooo it really does get so much worse, give me a newbie anyday of the week because these 3 year old's are hard work!

I can give you a few examples that have happened of late-

1) One time Xavier tricked me into thinking he was doing number one on the sand at the beach, I was wrong it was a number two and I had to scoop it up in a doggy bag trying not to dry reach. Also while praying nobody saw what had just happened.

2) Xavier drops f-bombs in sentences nowadays (I'm not proud of this or encourage this btw). The other day he told my mum's puppy 'to get the f**k outside'. It was hard not to laugh because I was crying from laughter and trying not to look at him while telling him that words like that aren't very nice.

3) He hates when you laugh at him at his expense, I mean I don't blame him really I don't like that either but how do you not laugh when he tells me that there's a little ball in there while grabbing his private parts?

4) He is SO damn demanding; to the point of it being excessive and annoying (more than usual!) He cried out my name for 40 minutes the other day. That's commitment but not really sure that's the kind I enjoy on a daily basis. If there ever was a time that I needed wine it was this very day.

5) He seriously won't eat cooked carrot but he'll eat it raw?!?! 

Threenager's  MAY look cute and act evil but they're also kinda genius.

Why wouldn't you tantrum for something until parents give in and then give puppy eyes with a little 'I love you so much'. Xavier may be turning 3 in 3 days time but I think the title 'Threenager' came a long time before that.

My experience with open heart surgery

Growing up I was always the smallest in all my classes at school, Out of all my friends I was always the one who looked five times younger than everyone else. I always thought this was normal; that I would just shoot up during puberty and be and be as tall as everyone else.
High school came and I still wasn't progressing like I should have been but we all just put it down to late puberty.

At the age of 13 I was told I had a heart murmur and I should go in for testing just to make sure it was nothing we had to worry about. Several tests later; including ECGS, Ecos, Blood tests, Bone age x-rays and a small electric shock test that they called the 'sweat test'. My parents and I were told I had a hole in my heart which required an ASD repair (Atrial Septal Defect).

There a four chambers in the heart; two with solid walls and two with little 'door like openings' that are in the centre. An ASD is basically a hole in the solid wall which meant my heart was working extra hard to keep me alive which therefore deprived me of being able to grow as well as everyone else was.

I was sent over to the Children's Hospital in Melbourne and at the stage was told it would only be keyhole surgery which meant less recovery time (and way less scary!!!). We got there only to be told the hole I had was alot bigger than they had originally thought. I was than swapped to Open Heart Surgery and my dad got flown over so that both my parents could be there.

My chest was cranked open and everything was fixed. My scars healed up well after having a minor infection from the big band aid they had to put over the 10cm cut and after a few days I had the two stitches under the scar taken out. We flew home and I was out from school for a few weeks before finally getting back into my normal life again.

I fought really hard through the next 3/4 years after my operation with my scar; I hated it, I felt embarrassed and just wanted to cover it all the time because I was going through puberty; having a big scar that was bright pink was REALLY not cool. Eventually I got over the embarrassment and have totally embraced it. I've decided not to show pictures of my scar just because it's on my chest and between my breasts which I don't really feel is appropraite to share.

I'm truly so thankful that my heart murmur was looked into because I can now have a long happy healthy life instead of a short lived life I may or may not have had. I'm thankful it wasn't a genetic thing that I could pass onto my children either! The reason I decided to share this is because if you ever think that something isn't right with yourself or your children ALWAYS get it looked into.